How to Identify Your Core Values (The Inner-Balancing Way, Brought to You by ELittleStone)
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When life feels busy, it’s easy to move on autopilot. We say yes out of habit, choose what’s expected, and ignore the quiet signals inside us that say, “This doesn’t feel right.”
Your core values are the inner coordinates that tell you what truly matters. When your choices honour them, life feels clearer and more grounded. When they are ignored, even “good” decisions can leave you unsettled.
Values are not fixed for life. They evolve as you grow, move through new seasons, and become a new version of yourself. This guide is a simple, gentle way to reconnect with what matters to you now.
A Simple Way to Find Your Current Core Values
This is ELittleStone’s three-step reflection method. You don’t need anything special to begin — just a few quiet minutes and a willingness to be honest with yourself.
Each section below is collapsible to keep the experience calm and uncluttered.
Step 1 — Notice the Moments That Mattered
Start with your real life, not theory. Values show up most clearly in your strongest emotional moments — both positive and negative.
Reflect on:
-
Three moments in the past 1–2 years when you felt deeply satisfied or proud.
These might be small or big — a conversation, a decision, a project, a boundary you set, a trip, a quiet routine. -
Three moments when you felt frustrated, disappointed, or “off.”
Times when something felt wrong, unfair, draining, or misaligned — even if you couldn’t fully explain why.
You can jot them down as short notes. For each moment, ask:
- What was happening?
- Who was involved?
- How did I feel?
- What felt right or wrong about it?
Positive moments show where your values were honoured.
Difficult moments reveal where your values were violated.
Step 2 — Name the Values Behind Those Moments
Now look back at your moments and ask: “What really mattered to me here?”
This is where you start giving names to the patterns.
Below is a short curated list of values to help you identify what feels most true. Choose the ones that resonate naturally — don’t force anything.
Open the curated value list (with definitions) (Click to expand)
Acceptance
The ability to meet yourself and others without harsh judgment — allowing things to be as they are.
Authenticity
Living in alignment with your truth instead of performing a version of yourself for others.
Balance
Honouring both effort and rest, action and stillness — creating a rhythm that feels sustainable.
Beauty
Seeking and appreciating harmony, aesthetics, and environments that nourish the senses.
Compassion
Responding to others with gentleness, understanding, and care — even when it’s difficult.
Courage
The willingness to act in alignment with your values despite fear or uncertainty.
Creativity
Expressing ideas freely and making something new, unique, or meaningful.
Curiosity
A desire to explore, learn, and understand — turning the world into an ongoing question.
Family
Prioritizing relationships that feel like home — biological or chosen.
Freedom
Having space to choose your path, your pace, and your way of being.
Friendship
Building close, supportive relationships rooted in trust and mutual care.
Growth
The drive to evolve, learn, and become a more capable or conscious version of yourself.
Health
Caring for the wellbeing of the body, mind, and emotions as the foundation for everything else.
Honesty
Choosing truthfulness — with yourself and others — even when it’s uncomfortable.
Integrity
Acting in accordance with your principles, even when no one is watching.
Joy
Prioritizing what brings genuine delight, lightness, or meaning into your life.
Justice
Championing fairness, equity, and what feels morally right, especially for others.
Kindness
Acting with warmth and goodwill — offering presence, patience, or help without expectation.
Learning
Seeking knowledge, skills, and insights as ongoing nourishment for the mind.
Peace
A desire for calm environments, gentle relationships, and internal steadiness.
Security
Valuing stability, safety, and predictability — the feeling of being grounded and supported.
Service
The impulse to uplift, support, or help others in meaningful ways.
Simplicity
Reducing clutter — physical, emotional, or mental — to make room for what truly matters.
Spirituality
A sense of connection to something larger — meaning, mystery, or the sacred.
Success
Achieving desired goals in a way that feels fulfilling, not just impressive.
Trust
Relying on yourself and others with confidence — feeling safe to open or depend.
Wealth
Having resources, stability, or abundance that allow you to live freely and generously.
Wisdom
The ability to see clearly, choose thoughtfully, and act with grounded understanding.
Use these words as guides — not limits. If another word fits better, use that.
What to do:
- Highlight 6–8 values that appear across your meaningful moments.
- Notice which ones feel emotionally strong — not just “nice,” but deeply important.
Step 3 — Choose Your Top 3 Non-Negotiable Values
From your 6–8 highlighted values, gently narrow down to three core values.
Use these clarity questions for each value:
- Would I choose this value even when it's inconvenient?
- Do I admire people who embody this value?
- Does life feel “wrong” when this value is ignored?
If the answer is yes, it’s likely a core value.
Your Top 3 Values:
- Core Value 1: ________
- Core Value 2: ________
- Core Value 3: ________
Your values are not rules — they are anchors. They help you choose relationships, environments, and habits that feel aligned instead of draining.
Example: What This Exercise Looks Like in Real Life
Open a real-life style example of the 3 steps (Click to expand)
This is a fictional example, but it reflects how many people naturally move through the process.
Meet “Lena.” She feels stuck: busy job, full schedule, but a sense that she isn't living in full alignment. She tries the 3-step method.
Step 1 — Lena’s Moments
Positive moments:
- Finished a passion project where her ideas were fully expressed — she felt proud and creative.
- A slow Sunday walk with a close friend — she felt calm and deeply connected.
- Setting a boundary with a client — she felt empowered and clear.
Difficult moments:
- Saying yes to a social event she didn’t want → she felt drained.
- Working late to “look committed” → she felt like she wasn’t being herself.
- Quietly tolerating unkind jokes → she felt small and misaligned.
Step 2 — Naming Her Values
From positive moments:
- Creativity
- Connection
- Integrity
From difficult moments:
- Authenticity
- Peace
- Kindness
She circles 6 values: Creativity, Connection, Authenticity, Integrity, Peace, Kindness.
Step 3 — Narrowing to Her Top 3
Using the clarity questions:
- Creativity → Yes, deeply essential.
- Authenticity → Yes, pretending drains her.
- Connection → Yes, her happiest moments involve it.
- Integrity → important but overlaps with authenticity.
- Peace → meaningful but not above the others.
- Kindness → very important, but often expressed through connection.
Lena’s final three values:
- Creativity
- Authenticity
- Connection
With this clarity, she revisits small daily choices — and later visits the Core Value Crystal Guide to explore supportive crystals like Labradorite, Sodalite, and Rose Quartz.
Optional: A Mini Worksheet You Can Use Anytime
Open the reflection worksheet (Click to expand)
Step 1 — Capture moments
- List 3 moments of pride or satisfaction.
- List 3 moments of frustration or misalignment.
Step 2 — Extract values
- For each moment, ask: “What mattered to me here?”
- Write down 6–8 repeating values.
Step 3 — Choose your top 3
- Test each using the clarity questions.
- Circle your three non-negotiables.
What to Do After Identifying Your Core Values
With your top three values in hand, begin making small, gentle adjustments:
- Before decisions, ask: “Does this honour my values?”
- Notice environments that support your values.
- Release habits that quietly conflict with them.
Next step: Find Your Core Value Crystal – A Modern Guide to Inner Balance
Want a Personalized Suggestion?
If your top value doesn’t appear in our crystal guide yet, or if you’d like a personal recommendation, we’d be happy to hear from you.
Send us a message on Instagram or email us with your top values. We’ll send you:
- A personalized crystal suggestion aligned with your values
- A small surprise gift as a thank-you for sharing your journey
Inner balance is something you build gently — choice by choice, moment by moment. This exercise is simply a way to listen more closely and let your life, and what you wear, reflect who you truly are.